The Best Days of My Life
by HecateA
Summary: Remus grapples with the awkward, terrible feeling of nostalgia for the present; like you're holding the world in your hand for the very last time. Oneshot.


**HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my friend, friend, friend Mama Bird! She and I go way back, so I thought that for her birthday, I should write a story of something way back and of the very first books that we bonded over. Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own any**

* * *

 **The Best Days of My Life**

* * *

 _Oh when I look back now_

 _That summer seemed to last forever_

 _And if I had the choice_

 _Yeah, I'd always wanna be there_

 _Those were the best days of my life._

-Summer of '69, Bryan Adams

* * *

"Well, well, well," James said. "Look at Mr. Graduation with Honours!"

"Sir Outstanding Academic Achievements," Sirius added with a grin.

"Mister Faculty Award for Excellence and Interest in Education," Peter said.

"Congratulations Remus," Lily said with a straightforward and beautiful smile.

"Right," James said. "Thanks for helping Evans here sweep up all the awards at graduating."

Remus smiled back at them.

"That looked painful," Sirius said.

"What's the matter, Moony?" James said.

"Nothing," Remus said. "Nothing."

"That sounds like a lie," Lily said. "What is it?"

"I just… I really don't want to leave Hogwarts. At all," Remus said. "And it's not that I haven't thought of it…"

Because he had. Over and over. Alone. Out loud while looking in the mirror of the prefect's bathroom. With his parents. With McGonagall. With Dumbledore. Even Eccleton, the care of magical creatures teacher, had asked Remus about his future plans, though the man's clinical and uncomfortable interest was more like a zoologist's.

"But graduation made it real," Remus said, looking out at the lake. "It's real. This time next year I won't have anywhere to be, I won't have anything to do, I won't… I don't know where I'll be."

"Hey," Sirius said. "Remus. I know that you'd have gotten the prize for organisation if there'd been one, but you don't have to worry about that. Nobody has a plan. Except for James, he'll just sit on piles of galleons until he has a better idea."

"True," James said.

"Fine, but none of you are werewolves," Remus hissed.

The Marauders pondered that for a second. It was the same pondering that had led to their illegal animagus adventures. Lily traced circles and letters and runes they'd learned in class on Remus' back.

"You should be able to go to the HATS," Peter said.

"The Hecate Academy of Talent-Driven Superior Magical Knowledge is elite," Remus said.

"You're brilliant," Sirius said.

"I'm lucky to have been to Hogwarts, no other school would accept me," Remus said.

"Then apply with the Department of Magical Law Enforcement," James said. "You've talked about doing that for a long time."

"Everyone wants to work for the Department of Magical Law Enforcement," Remus said. "Most of their candidates won't be out of comission for at least three days a month, while looking like a trainwreck for the other twenty-eight."

"Fleury and Bott's has an opening," Sirius said triumphantly. "Isn't that what your mum said, James?"

"Yes, Fleury and Botts has an opening!" James said. "You basically live in Fleury and Bott's during the summer! You may as well get paid for helping customers and recommending books, which you do anyways. You know the owner- you have tea together, do you not? He loves you!"

"He doesn't know that I'm a werewolf, and I don't think he'll love me then," Remus said. "I'm telling you: no matter what I do, I'm branded. I have no prospects, despite all this promise I supposedly have; and I have no place to go after this. That's how it is for a werewolf: people don't like us. You were my exceptions. I'm not going to get more. I'm afraid that these were the best days of my life."

"Remus don't say that," Sirius said. "That's not true."

"Is it really?" Remus asked.

James put a hand on Remus' back.

"Look, Remus, we're graduating- that's true," James said. "But just because we're leaving Hogwarts doesn't mean that we're going anywhere. Any of us. Our friendships are exceptional, but they have no expiration dates. The Four of us will stay together. I solemnly swear it."

"Me too. I solemnly swear it," Sirius said.

"Solemnly," Peter nodded.

Remus smiled back at them.

"Hey, where will I be?" Lily asked.

"You'll be there too, I guess," James nodded before kissing the top of her head.

"So are we okay now, Mister Youth Mastership of Transfiguration and Crafts of the Wand?" Sirius asked.

"That's Mister Most Frequent and Constant Usage of the Library to you," Remus said with a grin.

* * *

"Remus," Lily said easing herself up when Remus let himself in to the house, which had been affectionately named the Lily Pad. "Remus, I've been reading the paper- they're all talking about it, not just the Prophet…"

"Sit down Evans, you're around ten months pregnant," Sirius said.

"Shut up and have more coffee, it'll soothe your nerves," Lily said. "Remus, a werewolf registry? They're making a werewolf registry?"

"There was an attack the other day. Fenrir Greyback and his pack stalked the Belfast Witchcraft School on the last full moon and ravaged their dormatories. Most victims died but there are still seven girls in critical condition," Remus said. "It was a particularily gruesome one."

"Oh God, Moody, are you okay?"

"I wasn't one of the victims," Remus said.

"Okay," Sirius said. "It's just that you don't look so good right now.

"I-" Remus smoothed down his coat. "I just went to register."

"Oh, Remus…" Lily said.

"They didn't tell anyone anything," Remus said. "I was lost, I bumped into another woman and she was lost too. Someone from Magical Law Enforcement directed us to the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures."

"The Department of Magical Creatures," Lily echoed. "Magical Creatures?"

"Evans, sit down you'll go into labour, let me be upset- magical creatures, Remus?"

"It wasn't my idea," Remus said with a small smile. "At least we're in the Being Division."

"How did it go?" Lily asked quietly.

"Well the young lady I was with told every ministry employee in the zone that they should consider who the real monsters were and was eventually stupefied and escorted out of the building," Remus said.

"Respectacle," Sirius said. "You have her name, I hope?"

"Charlotte, yes- but unlike her I proceded," Remus went on. "I di a lot of forms and it took a long time, and then an auror and three other employees did an interview which… wasn't fun at all. They needed to know everything from education to family to occupations to… romantic… activities, and they want regular check-ins every three months."

"Remus…" Sirius said. "Goddamnit, why would they…"

"Remus, I have a friend at the Prophet," Lily said. "If you want to talk about this, because this isn't right…"

"No, no," Remus said. "It's not worth it. I was at Fleury and Bott's and I overheard some conversations and the owner himself is…"

"Oh, God," Lily said shaking her head.

"Moony, you can't let this happen," Sirius said. "You can't just let them track you like cattle…"

"The resistance to this movement is created by only Greyback and his pack, and I'm not one of them," Remus said. "I'm not thrilled with the idea, not in the slightest. I would have loved to protest and drag my heels in and been escorted out of the Ministry. But I'm already an outsider, and I rather not be an outlaw as well. Please, don't look at me this way. I'm not defeated, I just know how I'm already looked at."

Lily took his hand. "For what it's worth, they don't know you, when they're treating al werewolves this way. I know you, and I think it's undecent."

"Thank you Lily," Remus said. "But I didn't come here to dwell on that, tell me all about the baby."

Lily rolled her eyes but smiled regardless. "I thought I only had one husband."

"We're a package deal," Sirius said. "Tell him what you told me about the baby kicking and you seeing the foot, isn't that mad, Moony?"

* * *

Remus would always remember where he was when he found out about Lily and James.

At home, in London, in the little appartment over the bookshop and next to the bakery and in front of the post office that he and Sirius rented in the midst of the muggle world. It was Halloween; they would have gone to Dedalus' party, but the full moon had been yeterday and Remus didn't feel well, and so they stayed in and ate muggle sweets and binged on chocolate frogs- which made him feel a lot better. Remus was working on a card collection for Harry: he believed very strongly that a good chocolate frog card collection could get you far on the Hogwarts Express, on your first day.

There was a knock on the door.

"Better not be some muggle children who want sweets," Sirius said. "I'm not sure we have anything good left."

Remus laughed and Sirius heard the door swing open, followed by a, "Oh, Professor Dumbledore, wasn't expecting you to leave that big Banquet at school…"

Remus got up, pushing himself up to prompt his legs, and joined Sirius at the door.

"It was a good Banquet," Dumbledore said. "Hello to you too, Remus. May I come in?"

"Of course," Remus said. With a sweep of his wand the candy wrappers dissapeared under the sofa, and the cards slid into their albums.

"What's wrong," Sirius said. "You look… grave professors."

"Yes, please sit," Dumbledore said. "I want you to enjoy your hospitality as much as I do, because you won't like my news."

They sat.

"Lily and James are dead," he said plainly. "And Voldemort has vanished himself."

Sirius lept to his feet.

"What?" Sirius said.

"God, no," Remus said. "How… how..?"

"Where's Harry right now?" Sirius asked.

"He's being taken care of-"

"You just told me that my best friend is dead, now tell me where my godson is!" Sirius shouted.

"Hagrid is on his way to Godric's Hollow to retrieve him," Dumbledore said. "I've already made arrangements for him to stay with family in-"

"Arrangements?" Sirius said. "With what family, he- you don't mean Lily's sister? You old fool, Lily's muggle sister while James' brothers are right here?"

"Sirius, I'll be happy to explain to you…"

"You can do that later after I've found my godson," Sirius said before storming out of the appartment, the keys to his motorbike flying to his hands in one of the quickest unspoken accio curses that Remus had ever seen.

"Sirius, don't go," Dumbledore said. "I need…"

But Sirius was gone.

"I warned Hagrid that this may happen," Dumbledore said.

"He's right, you know," Remus said. "We'll take him. The baby. We can get rid of all the books in the spare room, maybe touch up the walls and put a mural up to make it properly Harry's, and he'll never know the difference. We'll take care of him. It's what Lily and James would have wanted if… Nobody expected anything to happen to them, they were immortal in the mind."

"Harry will be alright, and the same goes for Sirius… But you, Remus. How are you?"

"I don't," Remus trailed off. "They're dead? How did Voldemort… You said they were protected. You said that they would be safe."

"I said we had done everything possible," Dumbledore said. "Remus, I need to ask you a very specific question depite your grief of the moment; do you know anything about a fidelius charm?"

"A fidelius charm?" Remus asked. "No, I- oh, is that what you meant by protecting them? That doesn't make sense, who was the secret keeper? Who…"

"Alice and Frank's house is open to Order members," Dumbledore said. "You should go, at least not to be alone."

"I should wait for Sirius, he's probably halfway to Godric's Hollow," Remus said. "Or- or find Peter, someone needs to tell Peter...

"Don't worry about Sirius," Dumbledore said. "You can't both grieve as one, for this. Come."

Numbly, Remus got up and threw a cloak over his shoulders and took Dumbledore's arm to apparate all the way to the Longbottom's house, where someone gave Remus a bottle of firewhisky and everyone gave him their sympathies as they mourned Lily and James themselves. But Remus couldn't find Peter in the crowd, and he was told that Peter hadn't been by headquarters all day though by now, most of the Wizarding Community knew. Sirius didn't join them. Remus would never see James again. And in that moment he had a stunning, sinking feeling alongside with his grief that something very, very important had just slipped away.

* * *

"Are you going to get drunk anytime soon?" Tom asked, leaning across the bar. "Or at least start with one drink?"

Remus looked up from his butterbeer. "You're already making a killing tonight, Tom."

"Good night to celebrate," Tom said looking around at the Leaky Cauldron, its packed tables, the sparks fluttering around over everybody's head and firewhisky cups…

"It's been a good night to celebrate for weeks," Remus said.

"Tonight's even better," Tom said. "You must've heard about that big trial they had."

"Yes," Remus said.

"For Sirius Black," Tom said. "Can you believe it? They didn't even know he was a Death Eater and then as soon as You-Know-Who dies, he goes crazy, kills his best friend and all those muggles…"

"No," Remus said. "I can't believe it."

"Horrible…" Tom said. "Well, we can all sleep better knowing he's off to rot in Azkaban."

"I can't believe it," Remus said. "Actually, I think I will have a drink, Tom."

* * *

"I wouldn't have fired you," Dumbledore said. "I hope that you know that Remus."

Remus put down more books into a box. He'd bought many of them during his stay- Solomon's Secondhand Reads in Hogsmeade was too big of a temptation, and now his collection had grown. It was frivolous now, he realised. You couldn't eat books. He'd gotten comfortable at Hogwarts while he taught, because years ago, Hogwarts had been a safe haven. It still was, in a way, but now all his friends had changed once again and the castle seemed to have turned against him. What a mess.

"Thank you," Remus said. "But I can think of a few people who would disagree with you."

"A few people disagreed with me when I awarded you the Headmaster's Honour Badge," Dumbledore said.

"Many disagreed when I admitted you to Hogwarts all those years ago."

"Yes, sir," Remus said. "I know that. And I've always respected you for that, and been thankful for it as well. But that was then, those were better days. This is now."

* * *

DUMBLEDORE HIRES WEREWOLF AS HOGWARTS PROFESSOR: ARE OUR CHILDREN SAFE?

By Rita Skeeter

Last tuesday was an incredibly eventful day at Hogwarts' School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, not only because it was the full moon but- well, exactly because it was a full moon as a matter of fact. Informants within the famed school which has produced some of the century's most promising witches and wizards have recently been chocked to learn that a werewolf had secretely been part of the institution's faculty for nearly a year. Even more shocking yet is the revelation that the professor in question was hired with full disclosure of his condition.

Remus Lupin, age 35, was bitten by notoriously violent lycanthrope Fenrir Greyback at age four, barely escaping with his life. Lupin is the first werewolf ever to attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry as a boy, under the privilegeous protection of Albus Dumbledore. Thanks to accomodations regarding Lupin's attendence, focus and cognitive capacities, Lupin excelled during his secondary studies and his mastership of Defence Against the Dark Arts landed him the teaching position at Hogwarts for this past term.

Lupin is listed on Britain's Werewolf Registry since its creation and any parent could have easily made the link between their child's new teacher and the dangerous creature blacklisted by the ministry- but none did. Accusations are roaring against Albus Dumbledore who claims that Remus Lupin's condition was managed by the professor's responsible and attentive disposition, as well as potions crafted by the resident potion's master. Still, the hearts of troubled parents cannot be calmed. Why put innocent children who are still learning the magical arts in the path of such a terrible beast? What if something had gone wrong? Did Lupin's personal situation impact the quality of the Defence Against the Dark Arts education of a full generation of Hogwarts Students?

Though the case has not been brought to the Wizenmagot, Dolores Umbridge, the respected Undersecretary of the Ministry of Magic, is taking magic within the government itself by drafting and pitching the Werewolf Awareness and Risk Calculation legislation. This revolutionnary bill would force all werewolves to declare their status not only to the ministry, but to employers too- as well as giving witches and wizards the right to decline passage over their property or services in their businesses to werewolves.

Lupin ripped the article in two and tossed it in the fire on hiw way out.

* * *

"Remus?" Sirius asked looking over his shoulder.

"Yes Sirius," Remus said not glancing up from his book.

"You're going mad right now," Sirius said. "You've been in the flat too long."

"So have you," Remus said.

Sirius hesitated a bit. "What happened to the job you were at yesterday?"

"It was a three-day contract at an antique store," Remus said. "It's been three days."

"Didn't they say that they wouldn't mind keeping you longer after the first day?" Sirius asked.

Remus tossed the paper to Sirius, still not looking up from his book.

"Dolores Umbridge is making laws again," he said. "This isn't starting good at all… oh, alright. It's for- oh. Oh…"

"It's basically an anti-werewolf legislation," Remus said. "I had to declare my status when I went into work yesterday, and that was the end of it."

Sirius sighed. "Remus…"

"I had to give up my apparating license too," Remus said. "There's a new concern about teleporting werewolves on full moons, believe it or not. A"

"For crying out loud," Sirius sighed.

"I know I said you could live with me for as long as you wanted," Remus said, "and I'm glad that you came to me instead of letting pneumonia kill you in a cave somewhere in the North. But I'm not going to be able to feed us for long, and I think that the cockroaches in this flat are worth more than my life."

"We could eat them, them," Sirius said. Remus laughed.

"Did you know that Pius Thicknesse works for the Department of Magical Justice?" Remus asked.

"I didn't," Sirius said. "What an ass, he should've come to visit in the slammer."

"I helped him study for his OWLS and his NEWTS," Remus said. "He was my partner for a History of Magic project, once. I did all the work. He could barely cast a proper stunning curse, remember that duel by the lake?"

"He was on the dim side," Sirius recalled.

"Yes," Remus said. "And now he works for the Department of Magical Justice. And I may have to eat cockroaches for the next week if I want my heating back."

* * *

"How's Harry?" Remus asked once Dumbledore emerged from his office.

"I suppose Minerva is the one who let you into the castle," Dumbledore said.

"I understand that I can't see him right now, but how's Harry?" Remus repeated.

"He was angry," Dumbledore said. "Understandably. But he's with his friends, so I believe he'll be alright. I wish I could say the same for you."

Remus clasped his hands together.

"The Marauders is what you called yourselves, yes?" Dumbledore asked. "Back when you were at Hogwarts?"

He cracked a smile, which faded nearly immediately.

"James Potter has been dead for nearly fifteen years," Remus said. "Sirius Black was dead to be, he came back to life, and now he's dead- and I have known that he is dead for fifteen hours now, and he is still not back. For all intents and purposes, I am the last one left."

"I'm sorry, Remus," Dumbledore said. "For your loss…"

Remus whispered something- maybe it was 'alright', maybe it was 'no'.

"You should go back to Grimmauld Square," Dumbledore said. "I believe that that is where the Weasleys are, with Nymphadora, Kingsley and possibly Alastor as well. You won't be alone there."

"Thank you," Remus said, "but I think that loneliness is worst in a crowded room."

* * *

"I haven't cried yet," Dora said. "About Sirius dying. You?"

"Ah- no," Remus said as he kept polishing a window.

"I don't know why," Dora said. "Like, I would. Just do it once, get it over with… oh- sorry!"

The flask hit the kitchen floor just as Tonks apologised. She bit her very full lips and her electric blue eyes of the day cringed.

"It's alright," Remus said. "Cleaning potions are very easy to make."

"Okay, good," Tonks said. "But yeah, I haven't cried about Sirius yet and neither have I, so I was wondering if maybe I just… maybe I just needed someone to cry with, you know?"

"I don't, actually," Remus said.

"It's like when someone says a joke at a funeral," Dora said. "Nobody wants to laugh, but as soon as someone does everyone else is on the floor, pissing themselves, right?"

"Right," Remus said.

"So, yes," Dora said, taking a deep breath. "Strange request- but if you need to cry… send me an owl?"

Remus smiled. "I'll also let you know if I need a good laugh."

"Well then I shouldn't go very far," she said.

* * *

"Listen, Remus," Tonks said. "If I go to alone or stag to one more work thing, my parents will think that I am either gay or hopeless, neither of which I actually am."

"Neither of which you are," Remus agreed.

"Exactly. So in case you were wondering, the dress code for the auror ball is formal…"

"Wait, pardon?"

"Oh, come off it. I don't want to go alone, who else would I bring?" Dora said looking at him with apple green eyes. It's like she knew those were his favourite, that they could melt him completely.

"Literally anybody else," he said.

"Oh, because I exchange saliva with literally anybody else, is that it? Come on, Remus. What do the suppers alone in this creeky old nightmare of a house mean? Those coffees and cups of tea in the middle of the night- you know, the ones for which we literally put the kettle on for? Those kisses?"

"Stop, Dora…"

"No, explain. What do those mean? Because to me those mean that you love me back, in an unwritten way. And when people love each other they're not afraid to say so- or ashamed. And if they are they can pretend not to be so that the other person's parent doesn't think they'll die alone without even a cat because that person is allergic to cats."

"I'm not ashamed, Dora," Remus said. "Of- of what, of you? God, Dora, never…"

"But you're afraid. For me. Which is endearing, until the part where you don't listen when I say I'm fine, which is then annoying and may become patronising and ultimately make me doubt how you feel."

"Dora, never doubt that. Never think that."

"Come with me, then," she pushed. Remus sighed. Just as she was wearing him down, Dora was perking up. Her eyes sparkled, her hair even pinkened up a bit, the freckles on her face seemed to shift a bit…

"When is this office party, then?" Remus asked.

"Tonight," Dora smiled.

"Tonight?"

"Of course! If I would've told you in advance, you'd overthink it. You're worst than Socrates, Remus, and now that you only have three hours to kill before we need to get going, you won't be able to talk yourself in and out of it more than three times," Dora said.

* * *

And four hours later, while they were dancing, Remus smiled against her hair, thinking that maybe -just maybe- the best was yet to come.


End file.
